


Forgiveness Doesn't Come Easy

by preciousbunnynoiz



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Communication, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family Dynamics, Literal Sleeping Together, M/M, Sad with a Happy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-20
Updated: 2020-01-20
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:46:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22332100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/preciousbunnynoiz/pseuds/preciousbunnynoiz
Summary: Taako can't forgive Lucretia.Not yet.And no one seems to be listening to his reasons except for Kravitz
Relationships: Kravitz/Taako (The Adventure Zone), Lup & Taako (The Adventure Zone), Magnus Burnsides & Merle Highchurch & Taako, The Director | Lucretia & Taako
Comments: 6
Kudos: 128





	Forgiveness Doesn't Come Easy

Taako was exhausted.

It turned out that saving the world took a lot out of a person. Elves might not need to sleep but goddamnit if Taako hadn't gotten used to a little shut-eye over the years. 

He yawned, stretching his arms over his head and drawing fond looks from his family.

"Well cha'boi is beat. I better go down and see if I can't find a hotel still standing."

There was an immediate tense silence that made him fidget slightly.

"Koko? Why would you- You have a room here." Lup said.

Taako stared at her.

"Obviously I'm not staying here!" He looked around at the others who looked uncomfortable, Merle and Magnus not meeting his eye.

Kravitz simply looked confused but of course he would.

He didn't know the full extent of what went down despite giant magical jellyfish vomiting up their story throughout existence.

Some things are too personal to be written down.

"I'm not staying anywhere near  _ her."  _ Taako finally said standing up and pointing at Lucretia. Magnus winced and Merle was looking at his hands.

"Taako!" And Taako loved his sister but she always was like this! One of them had to take the hard view and that person was Taako. It's been like that since they were children. 

Taako had to be immoveable so that Lup could still bend when needed.

"I'm not going to apologise for that! I don't care that she saved reality or whatever! It doesn't change what she did!" Taako yelled, his hands in fists.

"Taako, Lucretia apologised." Lup said sternly.

"I get why you're still upset Taako. I really do," Barry added rubbing the back of his neck, "but Lucretia did apologise and...well... it's Lucretia." 

Lucretia wasn't saying anything, her head bowed.

Taako glanced at her and then away. 

"Well I'm sure _ Madam Director _ won't care if I leave." And yeah that might have been spiteful but Taako didn't care. He took no pleasure in Lucretia's wince but he wasn't backing down. 

"...You used to call her Lucy." Lup said quietly.

"I'm not the one who decided to change things without asking." 

Taako looked around at his family, both the IPRE crowd and the Bureau of Balance people. Those who weren't looking at him in reproach weren't meeting his eyes. 

"Fine." Taako said coldly, "I don't need any of you to agree with me or to come with me. But I'm not staying here." And with that he spun on his heel and stomped out. 

He heard footsteps follow him outside and a cold hand on his elbow made him stop.

"You won't get me to go back or apologise." Taako warned.

"I know." Kravitz said.as he came to stand behind Taako, a hand on each of Taako's biceps. His hands were cool through Taako's top but he leaned into the touch. It didn't feel like judgement, it felt like Kravitz was letting Taako breathe. 

"I didn't come to change your mind." Kravitz continued, "I just thought...rather than look for a hotel, why don't you come back to mine? I have a place- it's going to be a bit chilly but I have a bed even though I don't really need sleep and it's just…"

Something in Taako relaxed. Lup wouldn't be able to follow him and right now he didn't need her nagging and he felt… secure with Kravitz.

"That sounds real good 'bout now Bones." Taako said relaxing visibly. He felt Kravitz kiss his cheek before stepping around him to open a portal. He then smiled and bowed extravagantly.

"After you." And that got Taako to laugh before he stepped through.

Kravitz followed, the rift closing behind him.

Back near the door to the room the couple had left Lup floated, staring at where she had last seen her brother.

Barry came to stand next to her.

"Taako just needs to cool off Lup. You know how he gets when he's tired." 

"...yeah." she agreed but it was obvious she was still worried.

Kravitz's place was about what Taako expected. 

"You're really married to the dark and spooky look aren't cha?" He said as he peered around at the black soft fabrics, dark stained wood, and the dark grey wallpaper with little skull designs. The bed was tucked along one wall, with black sheets and quite a few very luxurious thick black blankets.

Kravitz hummed a bit with shy embarrassment. 

"Well if you know what you like you might as well commit to it." he replied with a shrug as he took off his robe and hung it on a hook by a door. 

Then he came over to Taako and held out his hand. 

"Your cloak?" 

"Why thank you" Taako said with a smile shedding the cloak and handing it over. Kravitz took it and hung it up next to his own while Taako yawned again.

Kravitz smiled fondly back at him.

"Go ahead and make yourself comfortable on the bed. I'll leave you in peace"

Taako's hand shot out before he could make a conscious choice. He retracted it almost as fast. 

“Taako?”

Taako knew he looked defensive with one arm held tight against his middle and the pointer finger of the other fiddling with a lock of his hair as he avoided eye contact.

He  _ knew _ how closed off and cold his body language was and hated it. 

"Taako?" Kravitz asked again.

And bless Kravitz who asked that but without pity or worry. Just a question of what Taako needed.

"It's a big bed and I know you said you don't  _ need _ to sleep but you have a bed so you probs do anyway and ain't you tired as well?" Taako realised he was probably blushing and was ready wanted to kick himself.

"I am actually." Kravitz said with a smile, "I'd love to join you if you're okay with it?" 

Taako shrugged.

"It's fine with me" he said still not making eye contact.

"Then I'm happy to."

Taako smiled briefly and relaxed slightly. 

They managed to get changed with minimal awkwardness. 

Taako had laughed until he was breathless at Kravitz's black pyjamas with the skull pattern as his dorky goth boyfriend blushed. 

He very kindly gave Taako permission to transmutate his spare set into something more Taako appropriate. Feeling cheeky he made them pink with a picture of Garryl on the front. 

"Is that a unicorn?" Kravitz asked peering at Taako's chest.

"Excuse you that is  _ Garryl _ and he's a  _ Binicorn _ . _ "  _ Taako said loftily. Kravitz just gave him an amused look before sitting on the bed.

His look immediately went from amused to a bit worried. 

"Are you sure you want me here?" He asked and Taako felt himself tense up.

"You don't have to keep me company if you don't want to. Cha'boi will be fine." Taako said leaning away from Kravitz but the reaper grabbed his hand.

"I  _ definitely _ want to Taako. I just… Aren't I too cold?" Kravitz's brows were drawn in as he bit his lip.

Taako opened his mouth to say it didn't matter. That Taako could wrap himself in a little cocoon. That he just wanted to know Kravitz was near. 

But instead, grasping Kravitz’s hand tightly all he said was:

“Please” 

"Of course." Kravitz let go of Taako’s had and pushed back blankets and scooted into bed and back by the wall leaving room for Taako to get in. 

That made Taako wary. When he was on his own as a kid- no. When he was with  _ Lup _ as a kid he always slept with his back to the wall. Curled around Lup protectively. Also because she then had room to throw a fireball while Taako transmutated something nasty for any attacker. 

But Kravitz was already being too nice to him and Taako was just too tired to explain all of that anyway. 

So he crawled in bed and tucked himself close to Kravitz, before turning away to face the room. He was incredibly tense but closed his eyes, trying to will himself to relax. 

He wasn't in danger here. 

He didn't need to be on guard here. 

It's just Kravitz here.

There was slight nervous energy coming from Kravitz which wasn't helping but then a hesitant hand slid over Taako's waist. Kravitz paused to allow Taako to pull away if needed but when Taako didn't he gently pulled Taako flush against his chest. 

Taako didn't know how he was feeling about this. He had never allowed himself to be the little spoon like this. Never had someone hold him so carefully like this. Like he was precious. 

He and Lup had always been tactile with each other but this was very different. 

It was when Kravitz let out a little content sigh against Taako's neck, his nose rubbing a cool little bit of affection, that made Taako break. 

He grabbed Kravitz arm and hugged it to his chest, curling around it, as he cried.

Kravitz pushed himself up on his free elbow.

"Taako?"

Taako turned his face into the pillow. He didn't want Kravitz to see him like this. 

"Taako please talk to me? Did I do something wrong?" Kravitz asked with a hint of panic. 

Fuck it. 

He needed someone.

Taako let go of Kravitz's arm and rolled over, burying his face into Kravitz's chest as he sobbed. His hands clutched the stupid goth pyjama top as Kravitz wrapped him in a tight embraace.

"S-she took her away from me!" Taako found himself saying, the floodgates had opened, "She took my heart right out of my chest!"

Taako thumped a fist against Kravitz's chest. 

"I-in my life I've always been the way I am because it kept us safe but Lup is- she kept me  _ good!  _ If Lucretia hadn't taken away my sister those people may not have died! Even now! I should be with my sister but I can't! Because I still have the other memories! Of being alone! I am cold and hard and I can't bend at all or be good  _ because fucking Lucretia took my heart from me!"  _ Taako had reached around behind Kravitz to pull them tight together, his fingernails digging into Kravitz's shoulders. 

Kravitz didn't say anything. Whether from not knowing what to say or simply being supportive Taako didn't know or care. But he appreciated the silence. He needed someone who would just listen without trying to convince him of anything. Magnus would want him to make friends. Merle wouldn't understand why he was so angry. And Lup? 

Lup was good.

Taako was not.

Taako cried and cried, ugly and messy, until the exhaustion completely overwhelmed him and he fell asleep.

When he had gone limp and was breathing steadily Kravitz pulled back a little. Taako's face was tear-stained and a bit snotty but Kravitz still adored it. He wiped some of the tears and snot away with his own sleeve before pulling Taako back in close, kissing the top of his head.

When Taako woke the next morning the shutters were down again. He couldn't  _ believe _ he had  _ cried _ in front of someone. Especially like  _ that _ . 

Kravitz didn't push. He showed Taako the rest of the house and didn't comment on Taako's monosyllabic answers. He had a decent kitchen so Taako pushed him out and made something for breakfast. 

"This is delicious!" Kravitz exclaimed as he tried the omelette. Taako unthawed long enough to toss his head with a pleased smile.

"Natch." Was all he said before the shutters closed down again. 

Kravitz observed but didn't comment.

"I need to go and check in with the Raven Queen. Do you need anything while I'm out?" Kravitz asked as he picked up his robe and scythe.

"Yeah can you get me some sugar, vanilla, and all purpose flour? Actually I'll write you up a list quickly. Cha'boi feels like baking and your supplies are a bit scant." Taako replied as nonchalantly as possible. He was grateful he had already been rooting around in the cupboard so Kravitz couldn't see his relief at not being asked to leave.

"I can do that… love you." Kravitz mumbled the second half of that sentence and Taako turned to catch the Reaper blushing fiercely. 

Taako grinned and turned to face Kravitz, leaning against the counter. 

"I love you too." 

Kravitz looked at him wide eyed before his head transformed into a skull.

"Did you just go skeletor because you were too embarrassed?" Taako asked with a tilt of his head..

"... maybe."

Taako laughed good and long at that.

When he calmed down he quickly wrote down his list before giving it to Kravitz.

"Go on bones! Taako's good here." 

"I won't be long" 

Taako just hummed in reply and once Kravitz left he threw himself down in a nearby chair and wondered what to do next.

The others all wanted him to forgive and forget but he  _ couldn't _ . 

He felt restless and got up to wander around the rooms looking at the bookshelves for something to read but Kravitz only had trashy (but the fun kind) romances on his shelf. 

Which was objectively hilarious.

Taako snatched up the one with the lewdest cover and plopped himself down on the couch 

He had just gotten to the good bit when the rift open and he looked up with a grin only for the grin to drop when he saw Lup floating beside Kravitz.

Taako leveled a glare at his boyfriend who simply walked over, putting himself so he blocked Taako's view of Lup.

"You told me last night what she means to you. This is hurting both of you. I think you should talk it out." and goddamnit Kravitz was right.

There was still a long pause before he nodded. 

"Should I leave you two alone?" Kravitz said this very quietly but Taako was shaking his head before he'd even finished the sentence. He had already ugly cried in front of Kravitz. He could handle twin drama.

Kravitz moved to sit next to Taako on the couch. Taako looked down, still not ready to look at Lup. To have Lup see what he really was. 

"Koko...I'm glad you're alright."

Taako didn't say anything.

"Look about Lucretia-" and no. Lup was not going to lecture him. Not this time.

"She made me forget you."

Lup stopped.

"I know." She said quietly.

"No. You don't. Remember the time we were attacked by a gang because someone was a little too generous tipping us? Do you remember the winter we almost starved to death? Do you remember Auntie's death?" 

"Of course I do?"

"Do you remember going through any of that  _ alone?" _

Lup didn't say anything.

"You said once I was your heart. Do you know what it's like to live without your heart? 'cause I do. I know what it's like to live your entire life heartless." Taako's hands dug into the sofa as he glared at the coffee table. One of Kravitz's hands gently covered the hand nearest and some of the tension left Taako.

Lup was very quiet for awhile.

"But I'm here now. You remember the truth." She finally said.

"But I remember it alone as well!" Taako said through clenched teeth.

There was another silence. 

"She was trying- she thought being able to remember me but not remember why I was gone, without knowing what happened to me, that it would be too painful for you." Lup explained.

"I know that!" Taako shouted. He finally raised his face, tear streaked, blotchy, and angry though it was 

"Then why-"

"Because she made me a monster! Do you know who I was because I didn't have you? Innocent people died! Because I didn't care enough! Because I couldn't care enough!" 

"Taako," Kravitz's voice was soft but it cut through the rage and guilt, "you know that wasn't your fault. You told me what the chalice-" 

Taako turned to him with wide eyes.

"But wasn't it? If I was nicer to him-" he began but Kravitz grabbed his face firmly and made direct eye contact.

"It was  _ not _ your fault. You had no way of even guessing that he would do something that extreme. Do you understand me?" 

Taako stared at him for a moment before lowering his eyes and nodding slowly. Kravitz let go of his face and Taako kind of collapsed into his chest. He allowed himself to bask in the cool but comfortable embrace of his boyfriend before he felt Luo's presence get closer.

He opened his eyes and turned his head to look at her, not willing to exit the hug yet.

"Koko… I understand better now. Barry… also has issues with Lucy. But…" Lup somehow managed to convey sadness, "are you saying you'll  _ never  _ forgive her?" 

"No… I don't think forever. But it's going to take time and I just… I can't live with her like nothing happened." Taako could admit that part of him longed to forgive Lucretia. To mend their shattered family. But he couldn't. Not yet 

"So you're just going to shack up with Bone Daddy now?" Lup said with a smile.

"Maaaaybe" 

"Makes it a teensy bit hard to annoy the ever loving shit out of you so dick move bro." Lup said with her usual charm.

"That's true. I can't prank you if I can't travel by myself."

"I think we can arrange something out in the prime material plane." Kravitz said with a smile, "I'm known to strike pretty good deals." 

Taako was sitting up more and smiling.

"For the moment Taako would you be okay spending the days with us?" Lup asked

The "with her" was clearly implied.

"Yea. Cha'boi is a  _ professional _ . _ " _

"Well  _ that's _ questionable."

Taako threw a cushion that sailed through Lup.

"I'll talk to her and explain" Lup promised with sudden seriousness. 

Taako looked away.

"Sure, whatever." He muttered before abruptly standing up.

"Kravitz! Did you get the stuff I asked for?"

"Hm? Yeah they're right there.” Kravitz pointed a bag he has dropped on a table when he came in, "what are you going to make?"

Taako tied back his hair with a grim look.

"Patisserie."

Lup and Kravitz watched as Taako collected the bag of ingredients and threw himself in the kitchen.

"Hey Tall, Dark, and Spooky. Thanks for this." Lup said softly.

"Ah, I just didn't like to see him hurting like that." Kravitz rubbed the back of his neck.

"You know, Koko doesn't do this. But saving reality I guess lowers your defenses. Or maybe you're just special. Because Koko? He doesn't do this. Not with anyone but me. Don't be offended if he pulls back." Lup floated near the sofa.

"I know. I'm not as close to him as you guys are yet but I know Taako well enough to know that this was unusual." Kravitz had realised precisely how far Taako had let him in last night when he'd seen how wary and closed Taako was this morning.

"As long you understand him." Lup then floated after Taako. 

"Are you really going to use pistachio in that?" Lup said loudly, "I knew your taste was bad but I didn't know that extended to pistachios."

"It's 'cause I have taste!" Taako shouted back.

"Yeah. Bad taste." 

Kravitz smiled and picked up a book as the twins bickered lovingly and loudly in his kitchen.

Taako went through the rift nervously holding a plate of beautiful fine patisserie. Kravitz was balancing another plate and Lup was floating more through the rift. 

"Everyone should be in the main dome." Lup said leading the way. 

When they entered the dome everyone looked over but when the IPRE group saw the plates of treats they all visibly relaxed. 

Taako transmutated a bit of fallen dome into a table and placed the food down with Lup and Kravitz. 

"I'm going to head back Taako." Kravitz said, "I have an idea to keep the Raven Queen happy about your sister and Barry. Just call me when you want to head back." 

Taako accepted the stone of farspeech and leaned in to kiss Kravitz just because he could.

"See you tonight then handsome."

Kravitz was grinning so much that he tripped over nothing as he turned. 

Taako laughed quietly before turning to face the group.

Lup was already speaking quietly with Lucretia on the other side of the room who was nodding but Taako turned away.

Magnus and Merle were the first to approach. 

(The rest of the IPRE and the Bureau of Balance crew had descended on the table like locusts)

"So you're staying with your boyfriend? That's nice! I really like him." Merle said with a smile.

Taako eyed them both warily.

"I'm not going to forgive her yet." He warned the two of them.

"No we know." Magnus said with a frown, "I want us to all be family again but…"

"...but?" 

"What he means kid is that we went through Wonderland too. We both faced possibly having loved ones and memories taken from us." Merle explained. 

Ah.

Yeah.

That would do it.

Then Magnus was predictably Magnus and caught him in a bear hug 

"I DID NOT AGREE TO HUGS!" Taako protested loudly.

Merle just hugged him around his waist while Taako yelled at both of them and struggled half-heartedly.

Lucretia watched Taako yelling at Magnus and Merle with complicated feelings as she nervously approached the treats the others were happily feasting on.

There in one corner was a small plate of pistachio éclairs.

Her favourite.

She breathed a sigh of relief as she took one.

It would take time. But then they had time now. 

She took an éclair and smiled.

**Author's Note:**

> Taako let himself be this vulnerable because he trusts Kravitz and because after everything he had to break in some way. 
> 
> The patisserie is an example of my headcanon for that Taako always did when he felt he had taken things too far. He made food because food is easier than talking. I like to think it took everyone but Lup a few cycles to understand that. 
> 
> Lucretia doesn't think Taako is wrong to be so angry with her. The moment she met up with Taako again at the bureau she realised she had fucked up but she had made a hard choice. 
> 
> Lup actually understands Taako leaning on Kravitz rather than her. Because for one she has Barry and for two as tight as they are when Taako is feeling cornered he pushes even her away until he can calm down. 
> 
> This obviously just all my personal headcanons. 
> 
> Lup just struggled to understand why exactly Taako is so upset becauase she never forgot. But Barry who would forget and then remember everytime he died helped her understand a little.


End file.
